Sunday, July 8, 2012

Furry # 1



From: RLWrenchlockIV
To: J
Subject: Furry

J,

Have you yourself ever worn animal fur for sexual gratification, or do you know someone in the Furry lifestyle?

There are sex toys for furries, viz.:


Sincere Regards,
RLWrenchlockIV

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From: J
To: RLWrenchlockIV
Subject: RE: Furry


Nope I can't say that I have nor can I even pretend to understand why this is such a turn on for these folks. Seems messy and sweaty and gross. You'd spend a ton of money on a furry get up and then you have the task of getting all that body fluid out of it. Pretty gross if you asked me.  In my opinion this fetish is too labor intensive. 

As I understand it, it's kids who got all fired up at some point watching cartoons and their limbic system is now accustomed to anthropomorphized animals. Probably mommy and daddy were too busy to care for them so they got fed cartoons all day.

J

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From: RLWrenchlockIV
To: J
Subject: Furry


I don't see how a motherfucking pink fuzzy bear, however cute, could ever supplant a nice juicy vagina or a nice smooth asscrack. For fuck's sake.

I think you are right... Cartoons for too long, and the kids weren't given enough room by the parents to sneak away with a nice copy of "Steamed Clams" or the modern iterations (viz. ePorn).

If the internet produces people who need a fuzzy pony in order to blow their wad, I might want to move to a cabin in Montana and shit in a lawnmower shed. Seriously dude.

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From: J
To: RLWrenchlockIV
Subject: Furry

well if I know anything about fetishists, I'd have to say that the guys and girls are not supplanting the human version of the genitals in their fantasy and furry role play, rather they are thinking of them but with an additional twist. Kinda like cherry coke but way worse...you still like coke, but you want some cherry with it too.  Some people hate cherry coke.

I can't personally say they are bad but yeah, the Montanna cabin sounds like a good plan regardless of the furry fetishists. If you can imagine it, somewhere someone in the world is getting their wad blown to (on, for? ) it.  The cosplay people worry me something fierce as well.  Look I'm an elf warrior!! Yaaay!!!  No you like a fucking retard..oh god no...oh god please don't do a sword routine while singing a fan made song....nooooooo it's tooo awful.

But hey knock yourself out if that's what you like, just don't expect me to be as enthusiastic about your shameful public display.

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From: RLWrenchlockIV
To: J
Subject: Furry

You make excellent points, but I don't know if people should be allowed to do this shit when there are a couple of hundred million kids picking bedbugs out of their pubic hair so they can eat lunch.


I mean, seriously, motherfucker. You want to stick a finger into the asscrack of a lavender pony? Have you thought about what you just said? Okay, tell you what, douche: You go to the cosplay convention and look for ponies, and all the pussy you ignore, I'll check it out. Deal, motherfucker?

I'm starting to think that if you have the disposable income and time to dress up like a gnome while one of the four polys in your homespace needs to go express his non-possessiveness by jerking off a fucking purple bear, you should be eliminated from the gene pool.

And with the cosplay people in general, I say it would be nice to watch someone throw kerosene on those fuckers. Because quite honestly I haven't seen enough people running around burning to death in the city streets lately. Have you? Every fairy who wants to protest something these days writes a stupid fuckin' blog or goes screaming and jabbering on CNN. Or creates a dumbfuck "occupy" movement. Life used to be nice when there were people on fire running around the streets. 

Remember those days?

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From: J
To: RLWrenchlockIV
Subject: Furry

yeah I really don't understand it. I saw some my little pony erotica and was pretty weirded out...I don't know how you get excited about it or want to collect it or want to view it. I looked at it because it was fucked...and then I moved on. Either the world is waaaaay more fucked then it used to be or it's the fact that I am older and have a different perspective. in my opinion the world is waaaaay more fucked...and it just gets exponentially worse.  Soon it will be acceptable to suck giant clear jelly dongs in public spaces or to just straight up shit yourself while at a restaurant. No biggie, just took a dump in my pants. Text text text, twitter twitter...