Our Condolences

The guy that did the balloon hoax is:

Richard Heene
5434 Fossil Ridge Drive West
Fort Collins, CO 80525-3822
(970) 204-0482

This guy apparently loves attention and publicity, so after the police put charges on his fuckin' child-endangering ass later today, why not give him a call and say "hi!"?

Letter To The Editor

July 1, 2009
Watermelon Abacus,

When sharply eaten have been to pounding lemonade chickens with warnings coming from mirth and wine slumberings shaped by teeth, it suggests that flat is best. Humps sometimes are good, but from sideways the turn is making three to four amounts not sanctioned by Phyllis or Henry.

Sometimes this puts much harmony within the bee-straps, but for why they are not having a simple hovercraft for these kinds of tasks? Isn't the money of the taxpayer finding too much of a layover in the buttock-shank of the city official and Phyllis and Henry? For smearings:

1. Make a pie bouncing at Jeremy.
2. If sometimes I think this is too large, there are creams and books.
3. Yes, if only juices could be produced on time, Phyllis and Henry have latex which might last a year at altitudes above five thousand feet.
   

It was from many moons that Wolf made corn which communicated with the Sky Monkey, thereby enabling concrete ladling the likes of which were seen best by your grandmother and some of the ladies with whom she discovered what butter was for. This is not to insult Henry, but it thrusts new fluxotine balloons at Phyllis. Frog piston launches upon fedora willingly when the sledded Pollack have sickings with the shitake mushroom. Splash banana fifteen? History will make a decision, for certain, but if the bull has porcelain kneecaps, should we really care that much?

I would pull caramel into spiral growths for the sake of my grandchildren. But when my eyeballs fall to protect the job of the scythe and the spoonings of Henry and Phyllis, is there that much apoplexis for which Mandrove the Quigglethrax will in future shave fur off?

Yours Sincerely,
Dimitrios F. M. Pleanthquinklouchanimpousilousinapapadalodauformithikaskasthrax